the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
