Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
