I just saw a hot homeless man
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
