I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
