He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
