My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize