Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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