I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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