I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
