I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
