Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
