i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
