chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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