so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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