Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
