i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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