Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
