I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
