Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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