remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
