Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
