I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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