and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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