I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
