I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize