So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
