He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
