Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
