I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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