Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
