if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
