a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
