Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize