What a fucking waste of an outfit
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
