you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
