Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
