She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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