A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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