my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just forgot I was standing up.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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