first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
