looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She bit a glass in half.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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