is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
