He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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