I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
