Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
