Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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