What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
