I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
