It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You are a genius and a whore.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
