i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
