Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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