On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
