i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
