He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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