Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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