For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
