only if we run a train.
done.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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