Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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