Have you finally orgasmed yet?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
