I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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